Before and After...Should have stopped at Before.

So I enjoy me a good before and after.  Ever since my 13 year old self discovered Trading Spaces, I've been hooked on before and afters.  I have spent my fair share of time on youtube looking at videos of people loosing weight....and zits being popped, but's that's a whole different story.  I just love seeing beautiful transformations.  And I recently discovered a website called, http://www.betterafter.net/   This is a website that features a bunch of different interior/furniture renovations.  When I found this website I thought, "This is it...This will be as fun as looking up 'nose jobs before and after'".  Wrong-o.  The problem is, I find that a lot of the time I just think, "Well you should have just left the dang thing how you found it."  Not that these pieces of furniture don't need help...they do.  They are just given the wrong kind of help.  It's like taking a slightly unsavory woman and putting mom jeans on her.  It only makes the problem worse.

I have compiled a few examples.

Maybe the person who did this little makeover was simply colorblind.

 I feel like someone just got a little cray-cray with their modge podge on this one.  I think it would serve the world well if there was a little fairy-modge-mother.  And when people start to modge podge everything in sight, oblivious to what they are doing anymore...the fairy would land lightly on whatever is being defaced.  And then that sweet fairy would gently push the brush away from the modge and simply say, "No darling, it's okay...you can rest now.  Leave this be.  It'll keep.  It'll keep."

Clearly I'm not a huge fan of the whole ombre movement that has swept the nation.  Or at least in the way it is done here.  Sometimes it is ca-ute.  Ca-ute.

After reviewing these pictures, I have come to a conclusion.  I just don't like self-distressed furniture, ombre and anything overly whimsical.  Maybe I'm just a boring old boob (pardon if that word makes you shudder...I just find it hilarious when old people use it in this context and decided to give it a whirl.  And....I liked it.)  I enjoy classic, timeless pieces.  

But guys, you should know that I am sitting in a room filled with overly colorful plastic toys.  And spit up spots dot the very floor I sit upon.  So...I'm not really one to talk.  

Jack at 6 Months

This was the post I was going to write yesterday...before it morphed into The Sappiest Post Ever.  Let's give this post another try shall we?

Let's just jump right into Jack's Top 3's.

Top 3 Cutest Things he does:
1.  He rolls around the floor like a tumbleweed.  So I saw this once in a movie...someone is standing in a room and then the lights go out.  When the lights turn back on, the person is 10 feet closer to the camera.  Then the lights turn out again and when they come back on the person is right next to the camera.  This is how I feel about Jack these days. I'll set him down in the middle of the room.  When I look over he's on the other side of the room.  I have no idea how he got there...he just sort of apparates (HP reference...and if you don't know what HP stands for, you wouldn't have gotten the reference in the first place).  It is most disconcerting.  But when I am looking, it is very adorable to see him flip-flop all over the place.
2.  He has started to blow raspberries when he is bored.
3.  His smiles and babbles still warm my heart.

Top 3 Least Cute Thing he does:
1.  He has taken to peeing through his diaper quite often.  This may have something to do with the fact that sometimes I forget to change it...oops.
2.  Throws little fits when we start to swaddle him and he realizes it's bedtime.
3.  Grabs at and knocks over things I didn't even realize could be knocked over.

Top 3 Likes:
1.  Ice cream. I gave him a taste at Costco the other day and he LOVED it.  He grabbed the spoon and cried till I gave him more.  I'm not a hundred percent certain when it is okay to start giving your child dairy products...but...he seems to have handled it fine.  PAUSE.  So peeps...I just looked up when it is okay to give babies dairy and everything I read said that breast milk is much better for babies than cows milk and has more nutrients.  Seeings as he's never had breast milk...I'm calling it good.
2.  Getting attention and being talked to.  He lights up when people smile and interact with him.
3.  Rolling around the house.

Top 3 Dislikes:
1.  While he does love rolling around the house...he dislikes when he gets caught.  Sometimes he forgets how to roll a certain direction and he gets stuck against walls.  He just buries his head in the ground and cries out in desperation.  It's actually quite adorable.
2.  The car seat.  He did pretty well driving out to California.  But ever since then when you start to unbuckle him from the car seat he pops his hips and tries to get out as fast as he can.  I think he wants to be let out before we change our minds.  I never knew one so young could do such a stellar hip thrust.
3.  As mentioned above...he doesn't like being put to bed.

Top 3 Biggest developments.
1.  Rolling.
2.  He has gotten 2 bottom teeth and we think 2 more are coming in on the bottom.  The top ones are being a little shy.
3.  He has started trying to scoot.

Top 3 Physical Ailments:
1.  So after my post where I obsessed over Jacks head...turns out his sutures aren't fused and we won't even have a helmet child.  Praise be!  Cue the hallelujah chorus.  On a down note, I received some very bad news.  When we were are the craniofacial doctor, the doctor had Chris and I both tip our heads forward.  Then he said in his Indian accent, "His head is shaped like yours."  He meant me...my head.  So it turns out that while I was freaking out over my child's deformed head...I was sporting one of my very own.  Mandi does always call me a Pear Head.  Whenever she draws me, she always draws my head like a pear...complete with stem.  She's even threatened to get a pumpkin stem and affix it to the top of my head.  That should have been my first clue.  So I guess Jack is perfectly healthy...other than the emotional trauma he shall surely acquire from his evil Aunt Mandi.
2.  He had an ear infection.  That was nasty! He was not a happy baby at all.  It peaked the day we were packing up our apartment.  That was a stressful day.
3.  Dry skin...also inherited from me. Let's hope and pray he doesn't inherit my athletic ability as well.  If he does, we are going to have a little wimpy nerd on our hands.

Onto the pictures!

He fell asleep eating.

Chris put his toys in a big circle in the family room.  Jack rolled to each one and played with it in turn.

Jack has spent a large portion of his life doing little crunches.  He wants to sit up so badly.  He tries so hard his little hands just shake from the effort.

 Look at those lashes! He didn't get those from me.

Look at that cute little nugget on the carpet!

Eating his hands, like always.

He often has this crooked expression on his face.  If you look very close, you can see his little teeth poking out.

That is all!  And as Kathi would say...Good day to ye.

The Sappiest Post EVER!

Half a year has gone by since I first saw my little guy.  Half a year since he was placed on me and I was overwhelmed by a feeling of..."What the heck is this little alien covered in?  Get it off of me!!!"  You thought I was going to say love didn't you?  Negative friend, that emotion waited until after the little thing was cleaned up a bit.  But now I love Jack...more than I ever thought I could.

To be honest, I was scared to have a baby.  I was never too fond of the things.  At church and family gatherings when everyone was cooing over the baby, I was hiding in the corner, doing my best to look occupied so I wouldn't be forced to interact with the little slobber-bucket, or worse...be forced to say how cute it was.  Cause I thought all babies were hideous...and let's be honest, all newborns really are.

As I grew up my fear of children only intensified.  Nothing screams birth control like hearing a group of woman talk about what it's like to be a mother.  Their lives sound like a never ending replay of the first hour of any movie about children.  The hour where kids are running everywhere like tasmanian devils, smearing sticky food everywhere, barfing under the table, and flushing precious heirlooms down the toilet.  I felt like women's lives ended the instant those feral naked-mole-rats entered the world.

Fast forward a few years...and I was pregnant with Jack.  And I was about 86% sure I wasn't really going to like him very much.  But around the time I was 7 months pregnant, a change started to occur.  I had expected to feel piercing kicks inside me.  I had heard woman talk about how painful it is to have your child kicking your ribs.  But this didn't happen.  I hated being pregnant but one of the things that kept me going were Jack's little nudges.  I felt his little kicks but they weren't too hard.  They were there when I was hunched over the toilet puking or when I was curled in a little ball crying myself to sleep.  But they weren't bad...it was more like the little guy inside of me was comforting me, reminding me I wasn't alone.  I started to sense his calm little spirit and I started to love him.

 It wasn't until Jack was about 3 months old that I realized I loved him more than I had ever hoped.  He was asleep in the other room and I was thinking about how earlier that day he had been smiling at me.  He had smiled and cooed at me like we were the best of friends.  And then I started to cry, because I was scared.  Scared that I loved him so much.  Scared that I wouldn't always to be able to protect him.  Scared that someday he wouldn't be smiling and I wouldn't be able to help him.  And then I knew that having children wasn't what I thought.  It wasn't a horrible succession of days dealing with a little pest.  It was a wonderful succession of days taking care of one of the things you love most in the world.  They might frustrate you, but you couldn't imagine not having that frustration in your life.  They might keep you up at night...but you would rather hold them while they are crying than be asleep without them in your life.

Jack has been the greatest gift I've ever been given...besides his sexy dad that is.  I know there will be hard times but I know that the Lord gave me enough love for Jack to deal with these times.  I think the Lord gave me a surplus of love for Jack just for good measure...because I was so against the little thing to begin with.

I know Jack is an easy baby...another blessing to ease me into things.  I am so grateful the Lord knew me well enough to send me such a calm sweet little boy.  I'm so grateful for my wonderful life.  It is so much fuller and more meaningful than I could have imagined.  I learned that you need to pay attention to the last ten minutes of those movies...the parts where the little kids are snuggling with their parents being read a bedtime story.  Because that is what being a parent really is.  It's love, not hate.  It's concern and not anger.  That's the important part.  That's the part that really matters the most...I just hope I can remember all of this when Jack is pooping in the dishes and drinking from the toilet.

Weekend at a Random Farm

Before I talk about our weekend at the random farm...I present to you and assortment of random Easter photographs. 

This is a recreation of a photo of Chris in the same outfit with his Dad.  I need to get my hands on that photo so I can put them side by side.

 Little man on Easter in his wee little bow tie that used to be Chris's.

The Easter Eggs that Chris and I made.  Including the broken crackled number.  I spy with my little eye a Charlie Brown egg.  I also spy a lion egg.  And lastly, an I Love Jack egg.  Did you find them all?  (Insert awkward Dora pause, where I am just staring at you expectantly, everything frozen, except I am blinking.)  Hooray! You did it! You are AWESOME!  (also said in a Dora voice).

Why is Chris making such a face?

Because...I accidentally murdered his little yellow egg.  I dropped it between the chair and the table...it was a very somber occasion.  

Now onto the Random Farm.  Chris's family decided to meet halfway between Springville and Seattle (where Chris's sister Ashley lives) for General Conference Weekend.  This ended up being a small town just over the Idaho border into Oregon.  Chris's mom rented a small house on a bunch of land.  There was a barn, a corral, sheds and many a field and mountain.  

Here have a list.  Since I love lists.

Top 5 Things of note from the Farm Va-cay:

1.  We heard coyotes while we were out roasting some mallows.  They were very close and their howls were high-pitched squeals.  Creepy.

2.  We found a coyote skeleton in one of the fields.  Chris and I did a Bones like analysis of it.  "You can tell from the iliac crest that this coyote was a female...about 3 years old.  Small pelvic bones suggest she's never born a child.  Traces of calcium in the bones indicate she was raised in Holland and then later moved to Canada.  Occupational markers on her phalanges suggest she was a violinist."  

3.  The house we stayed in had the creepiest nook of a bedroom in the basement.  Complete with curtain doors, a hidden closet that housed an old cassette boom box, lavender furnishings, howling wolf posters, and a general unpleasant musk hanging in the air.  I am so glad we slept upstairs.

4.  One night we went around and talked about how we met our spouses and our first impressions of them.  We recorded it.  It was very interesting to hear everyone's stories and the different ways people remembered things.

5.  Jack spent time with his cousin Laila.  My favorite was when he would grab Laila and give her kisses.  So cute!  I'm not sure she liked it.  But, SO cute.

Cousins giving each other sort-of-hugs.

We found this little park in town that had old tractors, a log cabin, and a wagon.  I call this photo, "We done had a hard time."

This one is called, "Ma hit the bottle. Again."

All of us in the wagon. Note Jack is only wearing one sock.  He has taken to eating them off.  Oh and the braid I am wearing was unplanned, but perfect.  I unknowingly got my Laura Ingalls on.

Both of our wee families.  Melani, Chris, Jack (what is he looking at?), Laila, Ashley and Cameron. 

We spent one afternoon taking pictures in and around the barn that was on the land.

Chris and I both took the most artistic shots of the barn that we could come up with. This is Chris's.

Nice Form!

And here is mine.

Another random shot I took.

My favorite family picture we took. Don't we look lovely?! Oh what's that? You noticed something amiss?  Let's take a closer look.

Good heavens Jack! You look like a bloated raspberry!  This ladies and gentleman, is Jack's official
                                                   Pooping Face.  And it cracks me up.

This one is much more family-friendly. 

Every time we parked at the farm Chris dutifully tied our car to the hitching post.  We didn't want that scalawag to run off. 

I call this one Koala-Chris.  I looked out the window and saw Chris just standing there like this.

And lastly...here is the farm. 

It was a wonderful trip and we hope to do something similar once a year.  Next time I hope we make it to the beach!

Jack's Head and AAAAAH!

So we got an ultrasound of Jack's head yesterday.  The ultrasound tech said that his sagittal suture was partially fused.  On the monitor we could see his brain through the open suture and then halfway back on his head you couldn't see the brain anymore....meaning it was fused.  The radiologist came in and confirmed what the tech thought.

The radiologist said that our doctor would probably want X-rays done, so we should just stick around. We were in Payson so we waited for about 45 minutes.  Then the doctor's office called and said the doctor looked over the ultrasound report and did want X-rays done.

We did the X-Rays and a few hours later I got a phone call from a nurse at the doctor's office.  All she said was, "The X-rays look fine, and the doctor would like to get Jack fitted for a helmet."  I was so confused...and still am.  How did we go from clearly fused to everything is fine.  I voiced my concerns to the nurse and she said she would get clarification from the doctor.

When she called back she said that the ultrasound was done so that they didn't expose Jack to radiation from the X-rays unnecessarily.  But when the ultrasound came back "inconclusive" they decided it was worth the risk.  This made sense but didn't really answer my question.

I asked the nurse if we could be referred to a specialist for a second opinion or at least get an appointment with the doctor so he could explain everything better.  She called back and told me we could set up an appointment with the doctor, but not with the specialist "without cause".  I've worked at a doctor's office with specialists and I know you have to have a referral so this made sense, but I'm still left with so many worries.

This isn't a small thing that will go away if we ignore it.  If he needs surgery and doesn't get it, it could cause very serious problems.  For some reason I just can't stop worrying about this...I just can't feel at peace.  In the past when I've felt like this, it has usually meant there was a problem that needed to be fixed.  Like when the nurses said my water hadn't broken but it had or when they said Jack didn't have an infection and he really did.

I just have so many questions:
-Did the ultrasound tech just not do the ultrasound right?
-If by some chance it was really fused, would the helmet make everything worse?
-Am I just worrying for no reason?
-If the doctor shows us the X-rays, how will I know what to look for?
-What if the X-rays got mixed up?
-The doctor is fairly young...does he even know enough about this for us to trust him
exclusively?
-What if I was just so convinced there was a problem, that now I can't except that there isn't?
-and many, many more questions.

To add to all of this...we are planning on leaving for California, for Chris's summer job, this Saturday.  So we will need to figure out how to get Jack and I back and forth from Utah for upcoming appointments.  Even if he just needs a helmet, Jack still needs to come back to Utah a few more times for appointments.

As of now, we have a helmet appointment and an appointment with the Pediatrician on Thursday.

I just don't know what to think!  Being a grown up and a parent is stressful!  Loving some one as much as I love Jack is hard work!

Jack at 5 Months

Little Jack O' is now 5 months old.  Five and half if we're getting technical about it.  But we're not.  

Onto Jack's top 3's. 

Top 3 Likes:

1.  Being "ROARED" at.  I realized the other day that I have never played Peek-a-Boo with Jack.  The person I told this to was shocked.  Chris and I just growl at our child instead.

2.  Getting raspberries.  Is that what it is called when you blow on their tummy?  Well he likes that thing.  I've done this for a while but he used to just stare at me like I was crazy.  He's finally gotten into the spirit of the thing.

3.  When he gets picked up out of his bed in the morning and after naps.  He always seems so thrilled that he wasn't forgotten.  

Top 3 Dislikes:

1.  Being in his car seat.  He has learned how to arch his back so he can get out.

2.  Being hungry.  The worst is when he sees the bottle being made.  It taunts his very being.

3.  Getting his boagies picked out of his nose.  It is a necessary evil.  He flails his head back and forth to try and get away from the nose pickers (that would be my pinkie fingernail.  I keep it long for this very purpose.  I promise I'm not a crack addict.) 

Top 3 Cutest Things He Does:

1. Giggles.

2. He has taken to talking to himself.  Quite loudly too.  Sometimes I have to turn the subtitles on when I'm watching TV, just so I can hear over his symphony.  Still cute though.

3.  He gives me kisses.  He opens his mouth, leans in and smacks them on me.  It's a very slobbery ordeal, but so cute.  Sometimes he kisses me without even being asked to.

Top 3 Least Cute Things He Does:

1.  He drools like a rabid pit bull. 

2.  He gets mad if I don't stand him up.  He used to want to sit up and not lay down.  Now he wants to stand up and not sit down.

3.  I'm still not a fan big fan of his hair pulling thing.

Here are his early 6 month stats:

Head size: 16.9 inches or 47th percentile.  As always they had to measure his head twice because they thought it was too small.  The first time they measured it he was in the 18th percentile.  I wonder if the nurse fudged the numbers the second time around?

Weight: 17.2 pounds or 56th percentile.

Height: 27.5 inches or 95th percentile. 

We went to the doctor's today to see about Jack's head.  It is very long and thin.  And small.  We are worried he might have a fused sagittal suture.  So the bones in your skull aren't supposed to fully fuse until a child is a couple of years old, so that there is room for a baby's brain to grow.  When it fuses early it can cause blindness, brain damage and other crazy things.  To prevent this a surgery is performed where the skin is pulled off the scalp and the bones are sawed into pieces and then put back on the brain.  Jack get's an ultrasound on Monday to find out if this is the case.  

Or...Little Man could just have a funky shaped head.  In which case, he will become a helmet child.  I never wanted a helmet child, but I have been told it is worth it for boys.  They won't have enough hair to cover up their lumpy noggins.  Either way....changes are a comin'.

And now for pictures:

Jack and his daddy.

 Jack being a crazed driver.  Chris thinks he looks like a chauffeur with his little bow-tie.  A very enthusiastic chauffeur.

 Jack and his La-La.

Jack contemplating the weeds.

His typical pug face.

He can be found doing this quite often.  Trying to eat his hands.

And playing with his feet.

We just love our little man so much.  There is a Winnie the Pooh quote which describes my feelings perfectly..."Sometimes the smallest things, take up the most room in your heart."